The Crime Scene
by Marathon Zack 140.6
Summary: Sam/Ruby 1.0 (Blonde S3 Ruby) and Deckerstar are forced to team up for a case. This is how their initial meeting at the crime scene goes down. Pairings are not specifically romantic or not, could be read either way. Doesn't follow any time/plot lines from either show. [Lucifer x Chloe] [Sam x Ruby 1.0 (Blonde)] Upgraded to K for the presence of alcohol and one minor swear word.
1. The Crime Scene

**A/N: First crossover I've ever published, but this idea popped into my head this afternoon, and I had to write it. My Lucifer/Chloe is a bit rusty, but hopefully not terrible; I'm a little more confident on my Sam/Ruby 1.0, but there's not as much Ruby sarcasm as I'd really prefer. Oh well.**

**A/N 2: Other than being the Katie Cassidy version of Ruby (Genevieve/Ruby 2.0 was a completely different character that simply had the same name, IMO), and all the wonderful S3 sarcastic wisecracks from her having definitely been said, this story doesn't follow any Supernatural timeline or Ruby plot line, or occur at any particular point in it; similarly, no specific point in the Lucifer timeline either. Just a fun little clash between two supernatural fandoms, where Ruby truly is good (or trying to be), and really does like Sam because he's tall; and she loves a tall man (and fries — deep-fried crack, and all).**

* * *

As Chloe pulled her car up to the crime scene, she saw two figures that were not her own standing next to what she assumed was the body of the murder victim. The man was dressed in the typical stuffy suit of a Fed, while his partner, a blonde female, was in a red leather jacket and tight-fitting jeans; not standard dress for any department she knew of.

Exiting the car, she walked across the grass towards them, briefly being aware that her partner, Lucifer, had wandered off in a different direction — but she was too interested in who was stealing her case to worry about him at the moment.

"Excuse me," she said as politely as she could as she walked up. "Who are you?"

"Hi, I'm Agent Evans, and that's Agent Johansson, FBI," replied Sam, holding out his badge.

Ruby, who was kneeling next to the body, carefully examining the neck, completely ignored the petty human.

"Detective Decker," replied Chloe with a nod. "What's the FBI's interest in this case?"

But before Sam could reply, they heard a very surprised sounding voice echoing from across the lawn.

"Ruby?"

Ruby, who'd just stood up, froze, before spinning around, unable to believe she was actually hearing that voice.

"Lucifer!?" she exclaimed, unable to stop the words from escaping her lips.

Despite her shock, she could sense Sam's hand going for the Colt at her words; and it pulled her out of her shock sufficiently enough to simultaneously throw out one arm to signal Sam not to pull the Colt out, and to move her other hand to the handle of her own concealed knife.

"I didn't know you were up here!" continued Lucifer jovially, as he strode across the lawn to where they Sam, Ruby, and Chloe were gathered at the body. "Of course, I haven't had much contact with anyone from hell since I left. How have you been?"

Ruby slowly let go of her knife that she'd been fingering under her shirt, resulting in Sam releasing his grip on the Colt as well.

"Hello, Lucifer," she replied warily.

"Oh, don't worry about me," said Lucifer, sensing his former underling's hesitation and wariness of him. "I don't care that you're out of hell. I left that world completely behind when I left there. But who's your partner? I don't recognize him from our world, above or below."

"Please ignore my partner's devil and hell nonsense," interrupted Chloe, stage whispering loudly to Sam and Ruby. "He really is helpful at solving crimes, I promise."

"Sam Winchester," replied Ruby, completely ignoring the human, looking slightly more relaxed than she had been when she'd first seen Lucifer was there, but still alert.

"As in the infamous half-demon Winchester hunter?" Lucifer asked with excitement. "So good to finally meet you!" he continued, holding out his hand for Sam to shake, which the hunter cautiously did. "Everyone knows the Winchesters, of course, and I've heard a lot about you and the other children, although I'd honestly forgotten all about the whole the demon children thing since I moved up here. So what's a hunter and a demon doing at our crime scene?"

"We think this is a vampire we've been tracking's latest victim," replied Ruby, before Sam could try going back to their FBI cover stories; no way Lucifer would believe she was actually an FBI agent, and trying to deceive the Lord of hell usually wasn't the wisest move. Plus, he already knew all about their world, being a very major player in it. "And now that you know what we're doing here, what's the Lord of hell doing at a crime scene in Los Angeles?"

"Ooh, vampire, cool," responded Lucifer, looking quite excited at the prospect. "As for what I'm doing here, as I'm sure you heard, I decided to take a break from hell about five years ago, and came here to LA. And then not too long ago I got involved in solving a police case with this lovely young lady, and realized that I quite liked working with the police; you know, punishment kind of being my thing, and all."

"Satan, the Lord of hell, helping humanity; who would have ever seen that coming," smirked Ruby. "But as noble as that is, this is our case now. So if you'll tell your pesky little human to take all her cops away, Sam and I will get to work on finding the vampire who did this."

"Okay, that's enough! I don't have a clue who you guys are, but you're not taking over my case," exclaimed Chloe, fed up. She had a murder to investigate, and that wasn't going to happen if she couldn't rid of these two crazies who apparently believed Lucifer's nonsense. "And based on how well you apparently know Lucifer, I'm beginning to doubt you're even real FBI agents. In fact, I've half a mind to arrest you right now. But this is my jurisdiction, and until I hear directly from Washington, you're not barging in and taking my case."

Sam sighed, knowing there was no way they were going to get this woman to drop the case, and knowing she'd probably arrest them if she caught them investigating it on their own. So looking over at Lucifer, he asked, "Would you be willing to share this case with us? Since even if you did somehow find the vampire who's doing this, we both know she'd be in way over her pay grade, and forgive me if I don't trust the devil to kill a dark creature."

"Of course!" exclaimed Lucifer excitedly. "This is going to be so much fun. And obviously, no offense taken; I'm actually rather surprised you haven't already tried to send me back to hell."

"I would have if Ruby hadn't told me not to," replied Sam bluntly. "And I still might if you give me reason to."

"Fair enough," replied Lucifer, before turning to Chloe. "So, Detective. Two more consultants on this case. Exciting, isn't it?"

Chloe merely rolled her eyes as she sighed deeply before moving over to the body, not bothering to deign any of what was going on with an answer. She knew that no matter what answer she gave, there was no way she was going to get rid of Winchester and Ruby, just as she hadn't been able to get rid of Lucifer the first time they'd met. And given Ruby's apparent friendship with Lucifer, the blonde probably knew some of the same tricks Lucifer did that'd prevent her from being able to successfully arrest the blonde if she wanted to. So best to let them tag along with Lucifer for the time being, and hopefully solve the case before they screwed everything up.

"So! The Devil and Ruby on a hunt with a Winchester! This'll be fun!" said Lucifer to Sam and Ruby as he took the Detective's silence to mean she wasn't objecting to the plan.

"Please. We have never done _anything_ together before," retorted Ruby. "And I won't even hesitate to kill you if you so much as look wrong at Sam wrong. Got it?"

"Wouldn't expect any less of a demon," replied Lucifer with a smile.

"Now that you've decided my job for me, can we actually get to work on the crime scene?" came Chloe's slightly irritated voice, reminding them all that they actually had a job to do.

A job that, though she didn't know it yet, was going to severely test her belief that the devil, demons, vampires, and the rest of the supernatural wasn't real.


	2. The Drinking Competition

Another little ficlit for this time-stream.

* * *

The four of them had just returned to Lux after an unfruitful morning of hunting for clues as to who the vampire/murderer might be. Chloe had of course wanted to go back to the precinct, but since no one at the LAPD knew Sam and Ruby, or that they were working on the case, Lucifer's suggestion that they go back to Lux had won out. As was usual during the middle of the day, Maze was the only one there.

"Fun day?" she asked them rhetorically as they walked in, her back turned to them as she restocked the liquor against the wall behind the bar, not actually giving a crap about Lucifer's pet hobby (the job, or the girl).

"It's like the suspect can just disappear into shadows —" began Chloe in frustration, before being cut off by Lucifer so that Maze didn't _actually_ cut something off the Detective to make her shut up.

"How about a friendly drinking competition?" he suggested.

"Right, because two demons and the Lord of hell can get drunk," replied Sam sarcastically.

"How about a half-demon? Half of infinity is still infinity," asked Lucifer.

"I've been trying to get an answer to that question for a long time," interjected Ruby. "But I can't ever get him to drink more than a couple beers at the bar, so I still don't know how well the demon blood's worked for that."

Ignoring the demon/devil nonsense they were all still going on about, Chloe focused instead on the 'alcohol in the middle of the afternoon' part of the conversation.

"A drinking competition at two in the afternoon?" she asked in disbelief.

"What? Can't handle a little alcohol during the day?" ridiculed Maze; she still wasn't a big fan of Lucifer spending so much time with a pathetic human.

"Please. I can drink with anyone," boasted Chloe, never one to back down from a challenge.

"Don't embarrass yourself, Detective," waved off Lucifer, before telling Maze, "Round each for the four of us."

Chloe was about to indignantly demand a round for herself as well, remaining sober on the job be damned, when Maze pulled out four large, unopened bottles of vodka and plopped them down on the counter, picking one back up for herself. Lucifer and Ruby eagerly reached forward to grab a bottle each, while Sam, at a sharp look from Ruby, somewhat more grudgingly picked up the fourth bottle, and unscrewed the top. As the four of them clinked their bottles together, Chloe decided maybe it was for the best that she not get involved; after all, someone staying sober really wasn't such a bad idea after all.

"Bottoms up," said Lucifer, before they all tilted their bottles back and started to drain them. Not many seconds later, they all slammed their empty containers back down on the counter.

"Anyone feeling a buzz yet?" asked Maze, already knowing the answer.

Everyone shook their head in the negative; it was going take more than a single bottle of vodka to do any damage.

"Good. Because we're stepping it up to _this_ next."

She pulled four more bottles out from under the counter; 192-proof Polish Spirytus.

Before they could start drinking, in order to make sure they weren't just drinking water as a trick on her, Chloe took Lucifer's bottle off the counter before he could pick it up and sniffed the liquid inside, immediately coughing, choking out, "Ugh! I'm feeling a buzz just from smelling it! You guys are going to die if you try to drink an entire bottle of that stuff!"

"Good thing none of us can die, then," replied Maze before lifting her bottle to her lips.

Everyone else quickly followed suit, and soon everyone had set their empty bottles back down on the counter.

"Everyone still alive?" smirked Ruby, looking around at her perfectly healthy fellow drinkers.

"Another round?" asked Maze, pulling out four more bottles.

Now, Chloe still didn't believe any of their demon/devil nonsense that they kept going on about, but she couldn't deny that there was certainly something different about these four. Regular people didn't drink an entire bottle of vodka like it was water, and absolutely no one then followed it with a _single shot_ of 192-proof spirit, let alone an entire bottle, without looking much more dead.

Several minutes later, at the end of their fifth bottle each, Lucifer said, "This is pointless; clearly none of us are getting drunk, and that stuff isn't the easiest to get into the States. So unless someone's got a stash of something from either hell or the Silver City, I think we're going to have to call this a draw."

Everyone voiced or nodded their agreement, none of them having any divine spirits to offer for a real drinking competition. As Lucifer started talking to Maze about seeing if they could convince Amenadiel to bring down some Heavenly liquor the next time he visited bugging Lucifer about returning to hell, Ruby turned to Sam.

"Looks like someone can hold their liquor," she said with a smirk, nudging Sam in the side.

"I've been able to for a long time," replied Sam quietly. "A demon I was chasing once proposed a drink-off. I make it until closing time, he would leave his host body and return to hell; I couldn't make it, and he got to stay in his host. Apparently he wasn't aware of who I was, or I doubt he would have made that offer. Of course, even after I won, I still had to exorcise him to send him back to hell."

"Demons lie," smirked Ruby. "Not me to you, of course, but, you know, other demons to other people."

"Of course," replied Sam, rolling his eyes at his girlfriend.

Meanwhile, Chloe was staring in disbelief at the bottles littering the bar counter, and in greater disbelief at the four drinkers, who didn't even look like they were slightly buzzed; in fact, she felt like she might be more buzzed just from taking a whiff of Lucifer's drink and from the alcohol fumes in the air, than they were from drinking six bottles of poison apiece.

She still couldn't believe that they could actually be who they claimed to be, that was just ridiculous, but there was certainly _something_ strange about these four. And she was going to get to the bottom of it by the end of this case.


End file.
